“KTNW reporter Mac Fukudoma here, reporting at today’s raucous local Town hall event. Quite a sight, I must say, all the different citizens and protesters here at the King City Eagles’ Lodge, making their opinions known. Let me see if I can grab someone here and get an interview. You, sir, you–can you take a moment to talk to us? Thanks. Mac Fukudoma, KTNW–what’s your name, and why did you come here today?”
“My name’s Bob, and I came here to protest the government trying to turn my country socialist.”
“I noticed you have a holstered pistol on your belt–that’s a bit of a surprise. Why did you bring it to this crowded event?”
“I felt it was a statement I wanted to make about freedom. I refuse to live any other way, except the free way.”
“Freedom, yes. But I was wondering…”
“Me, I’m only gonna live free.”
“…I…see. And I also see you’re not the only one who’s armed–YOU sir. Yes, you–could you take a minute to talk to me? Yes–thanks. You can face the camera, right there. I see that you’re carrying a large rifle over your shoulder. Just what is that, an AK-47?”
“AR-15. Bushmaster, 30 round clip, M4 profile chrome-lined barrel, stock sling.”
“Okay–why did you come to representative Mitchell’s Town Hall on healthcare with an assault rifle?”
“…the only right I have left. I wanted to exercise the one freedom this fascist government hasn’t taken away.”
“You’ve noticed all the people avoiding you? Even our police don’t walk around with assault rifles…”
“Once they take your guns, you can’t live, buddy. Your guns’re gone, you’re dead. That’s what this protest is about, the government trying to tear our guns away…”
“…er, I don’t think–OH NO! THERE’S A MAN HOLDING A HOSTAGE HERE–”
“…hullo!”
“…AND–wha?!”
“Hey there.”
“WHE–lady, there’s a man holding a revolver to your head…“
“…my boyfriend, Steve-O.”
“Steve-O?!”
“Afternoon, sir.”
“Good LORD, Steve-O–what the hell are you doing?!”
“My rights–I’m not going to give ‘em up.”
“Tell ‘em, honey!”
“Please, Steve, take your finger off the trigger…”
“America was a free country, but not any more. This is all I’ve got left, and damned if I’m gonna let the government take it away!”
[crowd:] “YAY!!”
“Steve, really, that is terribly dangerous…”
“AMERICA! FREEDOM!”
[crowd:] “FREEDOM!”
[hostage taking]
“…GOOD LORD, what is wrong with you people?!“
[hostages:] “FREEDOM!!”
[shots]
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